Well, another Valentine’s Day has come and gone and shockingly I am still single. How is that possible you ask? Well simple, in my life dating seems to be non-existent. Sure I am on dating apps and what not, but to actually get a guy to have a conversation with you, let alone ask you out, is pretty much down right impossible. All that to say, Valentine’s Day is definitely my most loathed holiday of all time.
After Christmas when everything is starting to clearance out and all the red and pink hearts start to pop up, there is something inside me that seriously cringes. I actually dread going to Target! Maybe it is the overpriced heart shaped boxes full of mystery chocolate that may or may not taste like dirty socks, or the overpriced flowers, or the ridiculously huge teddy bears waiting to collect dust in the corner of someone’s home. Who knows? Basically it is a big fat reminder of just how single I am, so you can see why I am not a huge fan of the day.
I am pretty sure the last time I was actually in a relationship on Valentine’s Day was probably in 1999. Seriously, I am not kidding. Ever since then I have had dates that pretty much lead to no where, or the guy is just flat out scared of commitment (I had one of those in my life for 6 years!). Pretty much the only guy I can count on to be around on Valentine’s Day is my cat. And that is only if he decides to not go sleep in the closet for the evening.
Not to say that I don’t have people in my life that love me, because I do. And even if I did have a man in my life, I probably wouldn’t be a big fan of his paying 2-3 times more than normal for a bouquet of flowers and dinner at a restaurant that is super packed with people. Honestly I am pretty simple when it comes to those kinds of things. For me it is the smaller things that mean the most. I was actually discussing this with a friend of mine, and while none of those things really appeal to either of us, there is this still this strong desire to have that guy, whoever he may be, do those things for us. Maybe it is society telling us that in order to be considered loved and accepted we need a guy to complete that part of life. Maybe it is our own insecurity and fear that we may never have someone do that for us again. Or maybe it is just all ridiculous and not worth any time or thought at all.
If you actually look into the history of Valentine’s Day, it is pretty dark and not very romantic at all. There are people who say it originated from a Roman fertility festival called Lupercalia. Men would run around hitting women with strips of goat skin because it was believed to make them more fertile. And then they would get paired off and then possibly married if the match was compatible. The other theory was that it had to do with two different men being killed on the same day in different years, but both named Valentine. Then Shakespeare and Chaucer started romanticizing the day in their writings. And last but not least, Hallmark came along and started mass producing Valentine’s day cards around 1913 and the day has never been the same since. Not exactly the most romantic start to what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year if you ask me.
So while everyone else is out celebrating with their special someone, I will be home hanging with the cat, or hanging with another single gal friend, or both. Yes I will drink my wine, and yes I will wonder why I can’t find the man of my dreams. Yes I will secretly deep down inside wish that some guy would love me and buy me overpriced flowers and mystery chocolates that may or may not taste terrible. Yes I will roll my eyes at people buying last minute gifts at Target when I go to buy my salad for one. Yes I will inherently remember that my value does not lay in whether or not I have a man to buy me said cheesy last minute gifts. And yes my dark, cynical, sarcastic side will come shining through every February 14th.
Photo by Sarah Pflug with Burst