No one warned me growing up that dating was going to be so hard! Dating in and of itself is difficult, but add in the complexities of online dating and it is even worse. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying dating is a terrible evil thing, but it is definitely not all rainbows, unicorns, and kittens.
Online dating is essentially going on a ton of blind dates with people you feel like you kind of already know because you have been chatting online, but in reality you are two complete strangers meeting to have sometimes really awkward conversation while eating a meal together. Nothing says super fun outing than that! There have honestly been times where the prospect of going home to hang out with the cat and eat leftover blueberry cobbler seemed way more exciting than being out on the date. Not that they aren’t nice guys, just not great matches for me at least.
Okay, I may be a little biased seeing as I have had some not so great first encounters with guys. Like for instance, the guy who said he was 5’9″, but was barely my height of 5’6″. And I was wearing flats, so no chance of mistaking that glaring detail. Nice guy, but it was really hard to look past the obvious certainty of him lying about his height. Then there was the fact he had a pet chihuahua. Not that I have anything against dogs, I just really do not like chihuahuas. I am pretty sure I asked him what their life expectancy is, followed by how old his dog was. The final blow for this poor guy was when he told me he was planning on getting a second one and naming it DotCom. Word of advice guys, 1.) Don’t lie about your height, we will figure it out eventually. Odds are we are not blind. 2.) If you are going to have a dog, make it a dog that isn’t a squeaking rat trying to pass as a dog. (My apologies to any chihuahua lovers out there)
Then there is always the chance that they guy doesn’t look like his picture. Yes, catfishing happens to even us girls and not just the guys. I started chatting with a guy in NY when I was living in FL and things were going fairly well, but I did find it odd he would never send me a pic of himself. I kept pushing and came to find out the pictures he used on his dating profile were of some random dude he didn’t even know! And then he wondered why I was upset about it when I said he had basically been lying to me the whole time. No one likes that kind of surprise people! I am a firm believer in having pictures that accurately depict what you look like.
I have also found it ironic that you will get matched with people on these dating sites or apps only to have the person you are matched with never say anything, even when you are the one to take the first step in communication. I used to think it was just me and I was really starting to get a really bad complex about it. My self esteem was taking a pretty big nose dive if you know what I mean. I was feeling like I wasn’t even worth getting to know. And then I started opening up about it to my other single girlfriends who were on dating sites as well, and turns out, I was not the only person this was happening to!
I have had friends who have met the love of their lives on dating sites, so I know that they work! So I guess the answer to the question is to keep swiping right and praying that eventually Mr. Right will come along. But in the mean time, we have to not get discouraged over the no responses or the awkward first dates and remember this is not where our value or self worth lies. In the end, worst case scenario is that you get a really good story to laugh about later down the road.
Photo by Brodie Vissers from Burst